The Invisible Squirrel

When your human is riding you, an easy way to get out of doing something you don't want to do is to spook at something. Humans usually are not able to tell when you are faking it and when you are truly scared, so you need not worry about your acting abilities.

Let’s say your human wants you go down part of a trail that you do not like in particular. Not wanting to go down it, you have two choices. You can be defeated by your rider and go down the horrible path, or you can pretend to be scared of something.

 

Razzle would rather go back to the barn.

When you are pretending to be scared, be sure to remember the three S’s: Stop, Stare, and Shake.

Stop moving. You need to basically become a rock and freeze. 

Stare at something. Just pick a random object to look at. It can be invisible; it really doesn’t matter.

Shake a little—just enough to make your rider feel sorry for you. If they start to urge you on, shake a little more and refuse to budge. Keep your legs spread out evenly and stay planted to the ground. This will usually convince your rider that there is some big scary monster up ahead that only your super senses can detect.

If there are other horses riding along side of you, be sure to use the international horse signal for pretend danger: invisible squirrel. This will alert your horse companions that there is not really any true danger up ahead, but that they need to pretend there is to keep up the show.

That’s our two bits!

 

5 Ways to Cure Stall Boredom

Our friend Leo trapped in a stall.

Of the many boring things in our lives, being trapped in a stall is probably the worst of them all, especially after your food is gone. Together with the help of a few other horses, we have come up with five easy and fun boredom killers.

1.     Try to find a way out. Start with the doors first. If you cannot get the door to open, try the walls. Often in stalls the wooden panels slide up and out. Even if you do not succeed in escaping, you did something for about 30 minutes to an hour.

2.     Cover your poop. This will blow another 30 minutes of your stall time with each pile you make. The easiest way to cover your poop with shavings is to walk right past the piles repeatedly. Be sure that when you are passing by the poop piles, you kick the shavings up or else you will have a ring of no shavings and poop still out in the open. Be sure to cover all piles before moving on to the next boredom killer.

3.     If you have hanging buckets in your stall, a quick and easy game is to see how far you can pull one back without letting it slip through your teeth. When the bucket slips and falls, it makes a very loud sound that will annoy anyone in the area.

4.     Fun toys. Occasionally, good humans will put these toys in our stalls to play with. The only problem is that we don’t know how to play with them. A few experienced horses who have mastered these toys have recently told me their secrets. You usually either pull on the toy with your teeth, just like you do with the hanging buckets, or bop it with your nose. If you do not have any of these toys in your stall, make some. Rubber buckets that sit on the ground can be played with as a toy.

5.     Pooping in your water buckets. This is a very difficult task. You must be an expert at positioning yourself properly. First you need to take a quick drink of your water before you defile it. This is the danger of pooping in your water buckets--you cannot drink anymore until your human comes and refills the buckets. It may be a difficult boredom killer, but the instructions are simple. Aim and fire.  

That’s our two bits!

Trailer Tactics--Part 3 (Unloading the Trailer)

Unloading the trailer is by far the scariest part of the trailer ride, especially if you must back out. This is one of the only times in life when we recommend trusting your human to the fullest extent.

If you are backing down a ramp, be sure to trust the ramp. Relax as you calmly walk backwards as you would on solid ground. Soon all four hoofs will be touching the ground. 

Without a ramp you must use caution. Carefully and slowly step backwards, one hoof behind the other. When one hoof drops off the edge, take a deep breath and relax; then step the others out. Often your human will make a warning sound when you are about to step your first hoof off the edge. Be listening.

Our humans try very hard to keep us safe during trailer rides. Thank them by trying your hardest to cooperate.  Even though the overall trailering experience may be a nightmare for some, just remember, more than 100 years ago, it was the other way around! So, just be glad humans pull us now!

That’s our two bits!